The past few weeks have been really hard on me as my mother is in the hospital and not doing well. With that being said, I have had a bit of a hard time trying to calm my thoughts in order to truly relax. Last week we did the loving kindness exercise where you was to focus your energy and thoughts on external factors or people within your lives. I did that with ease as there are many people whom I love but it became difficult for me to imagine a stranger who I know nothing about and try to send them loving thoughts and kindness. I am nice to everyone but to truly do that I feel as though I need some sort of relation with the person. This week we were to do the subtle mind exercise. I feel as though this exercise focused more on the breathing aspect and calming your mind from all the senseless chatter. There was numerous times when I would notice my thoughts, feelings, sensations, etc. beginning to veer off track and distract me, but I did notice when I was doing this and was able to return my focus to my breathing. It was hard for me to visualize or think of the stillness created within because with my worries being so strong this week I was unable to truly return my focus. There is a huge connection to the spiritual wellness to mental and physical wellness. If one practices a physical fitness routine yet they are not mentally healthy then they may allow their feelings of not wanting to exercise to overcome them causing them to not exercise. Plus being healthy within the mind will have many beneficial gains in terms of physical exercise. Spiritual wellness allows a person to realize their worth including external and internal factors. I know that when I am feeling down I can go for a hike or go fishing and it calms my mind. I can actually sit and have one thought at a time rather than a million thoughts running around clashing.

This week’s exercise was easy for me to complete and very beneficial as well. I have been having an extremely stress filled week and a half as my mother is in the hospital and I am trying to take care of everything, along with my priorities that need to be taken care of and I am exhausted. The exercise relaxed my mind and body. I had to close my eyes. I thought it was interesting how the first suggestion in the reading was to have your eyes open with a fixed gaze so many feet in front of you. But, to fully relax and concentrate I needed my eyes closed. Sending out loving thoughts to my loved ones was easy but there are not many things or people (if any) that I despise or dislike. I see beauty in anything. I have always stated that I will find the positive in any negative. Even when the situation is terrible, such as my mother and her health situation, I can still understand that it could be worse or at least they found out when they did for that may have prevented worse problems. To send her loving, healing thoughts made me feel extreme amounts of pleasure and happiness. I felt as though I was helping her and taking away any pains or troubles she was having at that time. It made me feel as though I was helping her to get better, I will be practicing this exercise a lot. I had a bit of troubles getting my mind to relax completely. I have so much going on right now and to truly relax it was hard for me to let go of my worries. I did the exercise several times yet never felt completely relaxed and if I was to do the exercise again while becoming completely relaxed (mentally and physically) then I can only imagine how beneficial the exercise would be. I have stated in other units that it is hard for me to listen to another individual speaking when I am trying to relax. Yes they speak in a soothing tone but it seems to break my concentration and when I am visualizing something it takes some time to get the picture only to have the picture vanish due to the speaker. My interpretation of what a mental workout is when a person gives their brain a thorough cleaning. Meaning when they take the time each day that is needed or preferable for them to allow their thoughts to flow in search of the negative in order to replace with a positive. The person will have to perform their mental workout on a regular basis just as one does an exercise routine on a regular basis. Also the time needed for one to reach a mental workout may be shorter or longer than what it takes another to reach that state and the time should be adjusted to one’s personal needs. An individual should relieve the negative emotions and thoughts within their minds.

Taking a moment to reflect on my own level of wellness; physically, psychologically, and spiritually has turned out to be more of a challenge than I had first imagined. Rating my physical level comes with ease but trying to rate my psychological and spiritual wellness I have a hard time. My physical level on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being optimal wellness I would rate myself an 8. I feel there is always room for improvement physically within each and every individual and to reach optimal wellness in any way means there is no longer room for improvement for that individual has reached the top. My spiritual well-being rated on the same scale would be approximately a 7. I am a very spiritual person but I do feel I need to improve in the spiritual aspects of my life. Psychologically I would rate myself at a 6 or 7. I feel there is a lot of room for me to improve psychologically. I still have some baggage that I have carried into the present that I should not allow to affect my thoughts or psychological well-being but unfortunately I have not mastered being able to do so. I will get rid of that baggage soon enough though, I have faith that I can remove the past from my life to truly live in the present and work towards a bright future. A goal that I could develop to improve my physical well-being would be to continue to exercise and eat healthier. I began exercising around 3 years ago and reached the ideal weight for my size but I have started to neglect exercising on a daily basis and do not want to lose all that I have worked for. I feel better mentally as well as physically when I exercise daily. A goal to improve my spiritual well-being would be to begin attending church again. I was raised going to church and want to become a member of a church once again. A church family is a wonderful thing to have. A goal to improve my psychological well-being would be to practice meditation on a daily basis. The exercise for this unit of my class was beneficial but I did not like it as well as the meditation exercise from last week. I found that I could not concentrate as well due to the words used within the exercise and the way it was guided. All in all I really liked it though, it just was not as easy for me to truly relax my mind and body as it was in the other one.

Leanne Holbert